Zovem se Marija Draganović, imam 17 godina i pohađam Žensku Opću Gimnaziju u Zagrebu. Poslije završetka srednje škole bih željela ići na fakultet studirati medicinu ili psihologiju. Dolazim iz jedne pobožne katoličke obitelji u kojoj sam bila dugo očekivana, i samim time, kći jedinica. Kod nas doma je, od kad pamtim, prisutna svakodnevna molitva, i to svakoga jutra, prije svakog obroka i prije spavanja. Uz to, na svaki veliki ili mali blagdan i nedjelje redovito idemo na sv. Misu. Kao maloj mi je bilo jako čudno ići svake nedjelje na sv. Misu, no poslije sam shvatila poantu i smisao žive vjere te da su to sve jako dobra sredstva potrebna za moju izgradnju i upoznavanje Boga. Volim svirati klavir i kalimbu, čitati, pisati, a povrh svega jako volim provoditi vrijeme sa svojim prijateljima.
Za Kursiljo sam saznala na krizmaničkom tečaju dok sam pohađala 8. razred osnovne škole i, unatoč tome što mi se svidio, nisam te iste godine otišla na Krapanj jer sam mislila: „Dobro, ima vremena, budem ja to sve stigla“. S obzirom na to, moj prvi odlazak na Krapanj je bio kad sam završila 1. razred srednje škole. Išla sam na 2. srednjoškolski termin gdje mi se doslovno cijeli život okrenuo za 180 stupnjeva. Prije toga sam bila povučena u sebe, u smislu da me bilo strah što će drugi reći na moje mišljenje i sve sam kalkulirala razmišljajući o tome što će druga osoba reći na to što ja kažem. Kroz tih sedam dana koje sam provela na Krapnju osjećala sam se prihvaćenom. Duboko u sebi sam znala da me nitko neće osuđivati za neke moje postupke i da me svi očekuju sa zagrljajima, što je meni osobit plus s obzirom na to da sam osoba koja se zaista voli puno grliti. Najviše me privukla ta otvorenost prema drugoj osobi koju su imali ljudi ondje i koja onda i tebe povlači da i ti budeš jednako tako otvoren za druge. Počela sam se osjećati kao da sam doma i da sam stvarno voljena. Danas razumijem da je to bio Bog koji je djelovao kroz sve ljude, a tako isto i kroz mene.
Iste te godine nakon Krapnja sam postala animatorica. Prije toga nisam znala da bih mogla postati animator, niti sam se nadala da bi me netko pozvao da budem animator, već sam jednog dana samo dobila mail u kojem je pisalo: „Ideš na formaciju“. Tada sam pomislila: „ U redu, može, nema problema.“ i dođoh na formaciju za nove animatore u Kotare 2020. godine. Nakon toga sam počela animirati na krizmaničkim tečajevima, animirala sam jednom na Krapnju i svjedočila te sam se odlučila postati suradnik u timu „Sve boje Kursilja“. Uz to vodim, tj. koordiniram, srednjoškolske susrete.
Bog je preko Kursilja djelovao na mene tako što mi je poslao prave prijatelje. Još od osnovne škole, makar sam ih željela, nisam imala prave prijatelje. Zapravo sam od strane dečki iz razreda bila maltretirana dok su me djevojke iskorištavale jer sam bila štreber. Pretvarale su se da su mi prijateljice, a zapravo su bile dobre sa mnom kako bi mogle dobiti dobre ocjene. Tako da sam tek na Krapnju shvatila da pravi prijatelji postoje i što sve Bog kroz prijatelje radi. Ti ljudi su iskreno tu za mene i žele mi pomoći. Zapravo, nisu oni tu samo zbog mene, već i ja zbog njih, da se mi međusobno izgrađujemo i da budemo jedni drugima stupovi potporni. Tako je Gospodin kroz potporu drugih u meni maknuo i odstranio strah. Više se ne bojim imati stav, iznijeti ga i zastupati. Uz to sam uvidjela i da smijem biti i u krivu jer sam spremna to priznati i ispraviti se. Na odnos s prijateljima gledam kao da je svaka osoba jedna vrsta cvijeta i svaki cvijet ima uputstva kako se brinuti o njima i da je na meni da to „pročitam“ i pobrinem se o njima. Ako se neki cvijet premalo zalijeva, uvenuti će, dok je nekima i malo vode dovoljno da procvatu. Mislim da u prijateljstvu trebamo cvasti jedni s drugima, a ne venuti; pogotovo zato što imamo jako dobrog vrtlara, našeg dragog Boga.
Jedan od većih plodova u mom životu je spoznaja da je živi Bog u svakoj osobi i da Ga mogu vidjeti. To mi se događalo i u situacijama kada mi se druga osoba nije svidjela, nisam ju mogla razumjeti, bilo mi je teško trpjeti ju i mislila sam da na njoj vidim petsto tisuća mana bez i jedne „zvjezdice“, a opet sam kroz tu osobu vidjela Boga i kako preko nje On želi djelovati i proslaviti se. Također, kao jedan od plodova bih još navela širenje apostolata, ne samo u Kursilju, već i u školi. Iako idem u katoličku školu, u mom razredu ima i učenica koje ne vjeruju i ne žive kršćanski pa često imam priliku barem pokušati djevojkama iz razreda približiti Boga. Često mi se čini da baš ne uspijevam, no vidim da se u njima zna probuditi zanimanje za Kursiljo, što se ondje radi te kako mi je bilo negdje. To smatram vrijednim malim plodovima Božjeg djelovanja kroz mene. Kroz rad u Kursilju sam uvidjela da volim pomagati drugima i da me jako raduje veselje i zahvalnost koju onda drugi pokazuju meni, a ja sve to onda prikazujem Bogu jer sam svjesna da je to Njegovo djelo po raznim milostima koje mi je poklonio. Izdvojila bih jedan meni značajan citat: „Ako nas nešto boli, to nas Bog priprema za Nebo.“ Bog se želi proslaviti preko naših uspona i padova.
I heard about Cursillo on a Cursillo for confirmation candidates while I was in my 8th grade of elementary school and, despite liking it, I didn’t go to the community’s summer camp Krapanj that year because I thought: “It’s all right, there is time, I will get to it eventually.”. This is why my first visit to Krapanj was after I finished the 1st grade of high school. I went to the second week for high school students where my whole life literally turned upside down. Before that, I was very reserved, meaning that I was afraid of what others might say to my opinions, and I always calculated what the other person will answer to what I have to say. During those seven days that I spent on Krapanj, I felt accepted. Deep inside I knew that no one would judge me for my actions, and that everyone would greet me with hugs, which is a special plus for me considering that I am a person who really loves to hug. More than anything, I was drawn to that openness that the people there had towards the person near them, which motivates you to be equally open towards others. I started feeling like I was home and that I was truly loved. Today I understand that that was God working through all those people, just as he was working through me.
That same year after Krapanj, I became an animator. Before that I didn’t know that I could become an animator, nor did I hope that anyone would ask me, but one day I just received an email that said: “You are going to attend a formation.”. Then I thought: “All right, fine, no problem.” And I came to the formation for the new animators in Kotari in 2020. After that, I began animating on Cursillos for confirmation candidates, I animated on one camp week on Krapanj and held a testimony and decided to become included in the team “All the Colours of Cursillo”. Along with that, I coordinate high school meetings.
God acted on my behalf through Cursillo by sending me real friends. Ever since elementary school, even though I wanted them, I’d never had any real friends. I was actually bullied by boys from my class, while the girls would use me because I was hard working. They acted as though they were my friends, but were actually nice to me to get better grades. So it was only on Krapanj that I realized that real friends exist and all the things God does through friends. These people are truly here for me and want to help me. Actually, they are not only here for me, but I am here for them too, so that we can help build each other up and be supporting pillars to each other. That is how the Lord, through the support of others, removed and eliminated the fear that was in me. I am no longer afraid to have an opinion, to stand up straight. I see my relationship with my friends as though every person is a type of flower and every flower has guidelines on how to take care of it and that it is up to me to “read” and take care of them. If a flower is not flowered enough, it will wilt, while some don’t need much water to blossom. I think that we need to blossom for each other in friendships, not wilt; especially since we have such a great gardener, our dear God.
One of the bigger fruits in my life was the realization that the living God is in each person and that I can see him. That has happened to me in situations when I didn’t like another person, couldn’t understand them, when it was difficult to tolerate them and I thought that I could see half a million flaws with no silver linings, and yet I saw God through that person and how He wants to act through them and be glorified. I would also say that one of the fruits is spreading the apostolate, not only in Cursillo, but in school as well. Although I go to a Catholic school, there are girls who are not religious, so I often have the opportunity to at least try to bring God closer to the girls. It often seems to me that I’m not succeeding, but I can see that they can get interested in Cursillo, what we do there and how I enjoyed some events there. I see that as valuable little fruits of God’s work through me. By working in Cursillo, I realized how much I liked helping others and how happy the joy and gratitude of others makes me, and I give all of that to God because I am aware that that is His work by the virtue of the many graces he has given me. I would highlight one quote that I find notable: “If something hurts us, that is God preparing us for Heaven.” God wants to be celebrated through our ups and downs.
