Sve boje Kursilja – vlč. Andrija Vrane

Ja sam Andija Vrane, rodom sam iz Rečice kraj Karlovca i rođen 14.srpnja 1944 godine. U obitelji nas je bilo četvero djece gdje smo uz roditelje odrastali na selu u okruženju prirode. Kod nas kući se molilo, pjevalo i puno se razgovaralo što je po meni najdragocjeniji temelj jedne obitelji – mogućnost razgovora o svemu. Imali smo razne životinje: krave, svinje, konje. Jako sam volio jahati i voditi konje u šetnju šumom, ispunjavao me taj dodir sa zemljom. Ono što me pratilo kroz život je bilo moje mucanje koje je započelo dosta rano. Dosta jako je to već bilo u razdoblju između četvrtog i petog osnovne kada sam trebao prijeći u drugu školu, mnogi su me odgovarali baš radi toga, no to me nije spriječilo da nastavim biti uporan u školovanju. U školu sam putovao putničkim vlakom i u kupeima sam provodio puno vremena. Vozeći se tako vlakom, imao sam priliku vidjeti vanjski život koji sam onda uspoređivao sa obiteljskim životom i spoznao kako je kod kuće lijepa situacija. Bili smo siromašni ali vrlo skladni, bilo je tu puno radosti, dok je život u kupeu i gradu neskladan, vječito natezanje, tučnjava, pričanje o novcima i ženama. Vidjevši to njihovo nezadovoljstvo i otuđenost javlja se u meni pitanje „pa tko bi njima mogao pomoći?“ I tu u kupeu mi dolazi ideja kako bi možda svećenik mogao nešto napraviti i javlja se želja za odlaskom u sjemenište. Kada sam poslije došao na upis, s obzirom da sam imao zapreku za govornika, rečeno mi je da me mogu primiti uvjetno, da pokušam, i tako se moj život sveo na pokušat ću.

Za Kursiljo sam čuo davne 1967. godine preko pisma u kojem mi je prijatelj pisao kako bi on i još trojica došli iz Zagrebačke biskupije na Kursiljo sa upitom bi li ja išao sa njima pošto sam već bio tamo. 2 mjeseca prije toga su me poglavari poslali u Beč na studij i na liječenje mucanja jer smo na jednom seminaru njemačkoga čuli kako u Beču postoji drugačija vrsta liječenja koje nema u Zagrebu. To liječenje spominjem iz razloga što je Kursiljo odigrao presudnu ulogu u mom životu na dvjema stvarima. S jedne strane što se tiče liječenja mucanja, dok s druge strane liječenjem moje dileme ići dalje u svećeništvo ili ne. Prije tečaja, tokom jedne krize, sve mi se činilo vrlo beživotno, imao sam osjećaj dok molim kao da citiram nečije riječi a ne moje, na misi sam, a osjećam se putnim statistom. Više je izgledalo kao obavljanje dužnosti, nije bilo života. Razmišljao sam kako ne mogu ići u svećeništvo gdje ću samo obavljati, onda mogu biti i tesar, ta dilema je potrajala dok ju nije Kursiljo riješio. Na mom prvom Kursiljo tečaju sam doživio da se ne radi o vršenju poslova, obavljanju obaveza, nego da se radi o odnosu. Doživio sam da je Krist stvarno živ, da ja njemu mogu reći TI, da je On tu i tako nastaje živi odnos. Za mene je bilo specifično vidjeti muškarce koji sami od sebe klečeći pred tabernakulom glasno i hrabro mole. Tog prije nisam vidio, da se ljudi ne boje izreći svoju vjeru pred drugima. Drugo što je bilo upečatljivo je to da su to vrlo opušteni ljudi koji se znaju šaliti, nisu neki “pobožnjaci“ nego su sasvim normalni. Zapravo me zapanjila ta normalnost, to što nije bilo glume ni forme, ničeg naučenog, već prirodni način ophođenja i govora.  Sve se to čine jednostavne stvari, no kad usporediš s onim na što smo navikli u crkvi doživljavati u odnosima ovo je bilo nešto posebno, ta pjesma i radost. Taj događaj je unio u mene takvu radost gdje sam vidio da neću naviještati nečiju naviku i obaveze nego ću prenositi odnos Krista i mene ljudima. Također, kao rezultat te radosti počeo sam svirati gitaru i u meni se javila jedna opuštenost koja mi je onda pomogla i u liječenju mucanja.

Postajem svećenik i odmah nakon šest mjeseci dobivam župu Oborovo. Nakon 3 godine boravka u župi dolazi pomoćni biskup Mijo Škvorc imati krizmu gdje je sa mojim krizmanicima imao provjeru znanja i ostao je iznenađen njihovim načinom odgovaranja koji nije bio formalan i naučen. Biskupa je zanimalo odakle njima takav način odgovaranja i kada sam mu rekao da sam ja kroz Kursiljo naučio takav način, primamila ga je sama ideja Kursilja i htio ga je bolje upoznati. Tu priliku je dobio na jesen 1973. kada smo otišli on, još jedan svećenik i ja u Beč na Kursiljo tečaj gdje je biskup tri dana sa muškima sjedio kao đak, zapisivao i mogao posvjedočiti da ovakav pristup nije još nikada pronašao. Bio je toliko inspiriran da je odmah pozvao ekipu iz Beča da sljedeće godine dođu kod nas u Hrvatsku imati Kursiljo. Dana 28.kolovoza 1974. održan je prvi Kursiljo u Samoboru sa 12 muških na susretu. Nakon tog prvog tečaja biskup mi povjerava brigu oko organizacije Kursilja kod nas za žene i muškarce i od tada u Kursilju u Hrvatskoj djelujem 48.godina.

Od tog dana sam za Kursiljo svojim životom jako svezan, to se ne da odvojiti jer sam cijeli život, dan i noć s njime. Nakon toliko godina mogu reći da me u sami Kursiljo privukla prisutnost Duha Svetoga, ta karizma, dar Duha Svetoga koji omogućuje Božju blizinu. U Kursilju se događa jedna prisnost, Bog nije stranac i netko iza oblaka, nego po djelima koja ljudi svjedoče se vidi da to nije liječnik liječio nešto nego da to Bog rješava. Iz sveg tog djelovanja o kojima laici svjedoče vidi se da je Bog djelatan, da je živ jer djelovati ne može mrtav čovjek. Vidi se da je Njegovo djelovanje radosno, da nije tlaka jer On ljude ne sili i ne pritišće već oslobađa. Daje novi život, radosni život pun Duha Svetoga, odnosno pun ljubavi između Oca i Sina koju primamo krštenjem. Ono gdje se ta ljubav posebno vidi je u odnosima među kursiljistima gdje se svi međusobno ophodimo od početka jedni prema drugima kao da se znamo godinama, to je dokaz tog duha, te Božje blizine. Mi smo svi ljubljeni, ne moramo se bojati Boga ni kazne, smijemo biti opušteni pored Boga uz tu spoznaju da smo voljeni. Ne moram se praviti važan, glumiti nešto što nisam da bi me prihvatili i primijetili, ne moram se uspoređivati i nemam razloga zavidjeti jer je mene Bog stvorio originalom. Kad se te spoznaje spuste u srce onda dolaze plodovi, stari ljudi u kojima se rađa novi život. Ni moj život ne bi bio ovakav kakav je da nije vezan uz njegovo djelovanje. Bog mi cijelo vrijeme kroz promjene u životima ljudi oko mene neprestano potvrđuje sve istine pisane u Bibliji. Kursiljo nije organizacija ili udruga, kroz njega se ne tjera kursiljizam nego pokazuje da je Bog blizu, da nas ljubi i da si mi zbog toga možemo biti bliži, srdačniji, a to je život.


My name is Andrija Vrane, I come from Rečice near Karlovac, I was born on 14th of July 1944. In my family there were four kids and my parents, we lived on village surrounded by nature. My family always prayed, sang and talked a lot which is the most precious thing about a family – ability to talk about everything. We also had a lot of animals such as horses, pigs and cows. I really loved horseback riding and taking horses for a walk through the woods, that made me very happy. Through life, I had a problem with stuttering. It started very early for me and it was pretty bad around my 4th and 5th year of primary school. I was supposed to transfer schools at that time, and everyone was talking me out of that because of my constant stuttering, but that didn’t stop me from continuing my education. I traveled by train to school and spent most of my time on it. While I was traveling I spent most of my time observing the situation outside and comparing it to the situation at home. That led me to realize that our life was very nice, we were poor but happy. There was a lot of joy at home, while it was different on the train and in town. There was always some commotion, fighting and talking about money and women. When I saw their dissatisfaction and detachment from each other, a question popped in my head, and I asked myself who could help those people. An idea of a priest helping them came to me and that was a moment in which I decided to go to a seminary. When the time for my enrollment came, they told me that I could be accepted conditionally since I had speech problems. They told me to try and that was a moment that my life came to a sentence ‘’I will try’’.

First time I heard about Kursiljo was in 1967, when my friend wrote a letter to me saying that he and three more men wanted to go to a Kursiljo course in Austria and asked if I would go with them since I was already there. Two months before that I was sent from Zagreb to Vienna to study and find better help with my stuttering since we heard about a different form of treatment there. I am mentioning this because Kursiljo played a big part in two aspects of my life. On the one side it affected my stuttering treatment and on the other it helped me to decide if I should become a priest. Before the course, I was going through a crisis and while I was praying it felt as if I was saying someone else’s words, not mine. Prayer and mass felt like performing a duty, without life. I was thinking that there was no point in becoming a priest if that was just a duty for me, if it was like that then I could do anything else. That thought was there until Kursiljo made it clear. At my first Kursiljo course I realized that it wasn’t just about dealing with tasks, it was about a relationship. I realized that Christ really is alive and that I could call Him, that He is here and that is how a relationship is made. For me it was special to see men kneeling and praying loudly and strongly in front of a tabernacle. Before that I had never seen people that aren’t afraid of showing their faith to others. The other thing that I noticed was that these people knew to be relaxed and they were joking around, they weren’t strictly religious – they were completely normal, and that stunned me. That wasn’t learned, there was no acting, it was their natural was of behaving and speaking. All of this might seem simple, but if you compare it to the stuff we are used to experiencing in church it was very special. All of the joy and singing there made me happy and I realized that I didn’t want to carry forward just a habit, I wanted to show a relationship with Christ to others. As the result of this joy, I started playing the guitar and I became more laid back which then led to helping me with my stuttering.

I became a priest and after six months I was sent to Oborovo in a parish. After being there for 3 years, a suffragan Mijo Škvorc came to my parish because of the confirmation and when he tested my confirmands, he was positively surprised by their answers that were correct but weren’t formal or learned by heart. He was curious where they got that from and that was when I told him about Kursiljo. He was interested about the idea of Kursiljo and wanted to learn more about it. In 1973 he got the opportunity to do so when he, another priest and I went to Vienna to a Kursiljo course. For three days there, bishop was sitting with other men, took notes and at the end he could say that this was an approach he has never seen before. He was so inspired by this that he immediately invited everyone from Vienna to come to Croatia next year. On 28th of August 1974 there was the first Kursiljo course held in Samobor, croatia. There were 12 men attending that course. After the course I was given the responsibility to organize courses for women and men and since then I have been working in Croatian Kursiljo for 48 years.

Since that day, I have been very connected to Kursiljo in every aspect of my life, day and night. After all those years I can say that it was the Holy Spirit that attracted me in Kursiljo, it was the charisma of it as well as the gift of the Holy Spirit that allows Gods closeness. In Kursiljo we learn that God is not a stranger hidden behind clouds, we could see that in all of His acts that people testify about. All those people are the evidence of God being alive, because we know that someone who isn’t alive cannot act like that. We can see that His work is full of joy, it is not hard and he is not pressuring people, but setting them free. He gives new life, full of joy and Holy Spirit, full of love between Father and Son that we all receive in our baptism. That love is especially seen between people in Kursiljo, we all treat each other as if we have been friends for years, even if we just met. That is proof of that Spirit, of God being close to us. We are all loved, we don’t have to be afraid of God or punishment. We can be relaxed, knowing that we are loved. I don’t have to pretend to be something I am not just to be accepted and noticed, I don’t have to compare myself to others and I don’t have a reason to be jealous of others because God made me authentic. When this realization comes to our hearts, then we will be able to see results. We will see new life born in old people. My life wouldn’t be as it is if it wasn’t connected to His work. God is constantly proving me all the truths written in Bible through everything he does for other. Kursiljo is not just an organization or association, it is not a way of forcing anything on others, it shows us that God is close, that he loves us and that we can be closer to each other because of that – and that is what makes the meaning of life.

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